<![CDATA[Behind Closed Doors... - Blog]]>Fri, 19 Feb 2016 04:06:33 -0600Weebly<![CDATA[I Wanna Know what love is]]>Thu, 02 Jul 2015 13:43:28 GMThttp://mtmoore31.weebly.com/blog/i-wanna-know-what-love-isPicture

I have often said that I want to know what love is. I was so sure that I’ve never felt it before. In light of recent incidents, I’ve come to the realization that I do know what it is. I’ve known for a long time. 

Two weeks ago, I lost my grandmother, Grandma Brenda. She was my granddad’s 5th wife, but I knew of her outside of my actual biological grandmama. I remember that Grandma Brenda was pretty, quiet, and nice. I’ve never heard her raise her voice. At her wake and funeral, other people also thought that she was quiet. I have heard that when she did speak, she meant what she said. I also remember that often, Grandma Brenda would come over to bring me something, or just come to talk to my Grandmama (my mother’s mother;  my granddad’s first wife). I thought it odd or weird then that the former wife had a friendly relationship with the current wife. I then learned that that was part of being an adult. Grandmama didn’t have a problem with Brenda, and Brenda didn’t have an issue with Grandmama. She (Grandmama) did have a problem with my granddad. I digress.

I remember some fond memories of my Grandma Brenda. She, at times, would pick me up from school and babysit me until my Grandmama got off work. One of my memories of her is giving me a cup of Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream. She would stir it up until it was smooth. As a kid, I often wondered how she got it to have that consistency. The things you learn as an adult. J I also remember her giving me Cheerios, with a little sugar sprinkled over them. I still eat them like that to this day. I remember once when I was younger, she took me to her job. AllState was having some kind of function. I believe it was bring your child to work day or something. I went with her. When she was laid off, she started her own baking business, “Brenda’s Cakes &amp; ‘Moore’”. I would often go with her to cake shops and bakeries. I didn’t realize until I started typing this out, that I spent a lot of time with Grandma Brenda as a kid.

Just last week, I lost my uncle, Billy, to cancer. We had his funeral Monday. While there, I was thinking back to the Thomas family. On the screens at the funeral, it was showing a slideshow of pictures of him and the family. There was one picture where it was my grandmama, Lillian, Uncle Poochie, (Walter)  Aunt Dorothy, and great-grandmother, Easter. All are now deceased. I remember being over at Murdear’s (Easter’s) house. Now there, I felt love. You were surrounded by it—immersed in it. There was no way that you could enter into that house and not feel the calming warmth that dwelled there. No matter who it was, you always felt that someone in that house genuinely cared for you. I didn’t know it at the time, and didn’t realize it until yesterday, but I already knew what love was. I’ve felt it damn near my entire life. My problem, along with a lot of other people is we have an idea of what love is. We may already have it, but don’t realize it when it is in front of our faces. I never had so many thoughts that made me smile until this past weekend.

 You know, at times I think that I am incapable of that. Loving I mean. I just think that I’m so jaded at times, that I’m incapable of showing or receiving love. I blame myself for that. I’ve shut myself off and guarded myself. But the truth is, I want to love someone like I was growing up. Having someone know that I have their best intentions at heart. I will try to remember the love I had growing up and see if there's still a part of me left that is capable of showing that to others. I will try. 

What kind of love are you looking for? 

<![CDATA[Same Love]]>Thu, 02 Jul 2015 13:40:36 GMThttp://mtmoore31.weebly.com/blog/same-lovePicture

Recently, the Supreme Court ruled that ALL people have a right to marry. I then proceeded to social media (which was a super huge mistake on my part. I admit that.) and saw that my Facebook feed was littered with statuses both positive and negative about it. I normally don't comment or post on hot-button issues because I honestly don't have time or the patience to defend my views to some bigoted and closed minded, hateful people. I am all for people having their own thoughts, but some of the statuses and comments were just truly ridiculous.

 People that I've known for over ten years, spewing hatred. Not thoughts, no ideas, just straight hatred, and my thought is why?

 Why is there so much hatred and outrage for people who want to express one thing: Love

 How is it hurting you? Of course we all hear from the bible thumpers that express how it is a sin. The last time I checked, all sin was equal. For all sin, the wage is death. What makes this one so unforgivable? How do you console yourself with your consistent premarital sex that resulted in multiple children by people that you aren't married to or are married to others? I'll wait.

My point is: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I didn't think that getting married was hurting anyone. Apparently, according to people on Facebook, Jesus is coming back, and the world is going to end.

 It also seems that a lot of people that have problems with same sex marriages (or at least the ones that were on my feed) are unmarried, never have been married, and have bastard children. Us getting married isn't going to stop you from doing so. Since the sanctity of marriage is so important to you, why haven't you married that one you've been messing around with for 3 years plus? It's okay for people like Kim Kardashian, Elizabeth Taylor (who has been married 8 times to seven husbands) and Brittney Spears to marry multiple times and not be seen as destroying the sanctity of marriage. However, two consenting adults who have been together for years are finally allowed to be married, and everyone loses their freaking minds. Get off it.

Do you know that only 48 years ago, a discussion like this arose about interracial marriages? That's right. Interracial marriage has been legal in all states for only 48 years. When this was signed into law by the Supreme Court, did stars fall? Did the mountains crumble? Did the trumpets sound, and rivers turn to blood? Hell no. Why? Because love doesn't hurt anybody. If two gays getting married really offends you like that, then you might want to look within yourself because you might have some homo tendencies there, buddy.

 I've mentioned before that I don't think of myself as the marrying type. Once upon a time, I did but have let go of that thought. Today, however, I actually have hope that I will one day again entertain the notion of sharing the remainder of my life with someone. Maybe it took something like this to spark that desire again. Who knows.

 I do want to leave you with an assignment. I want you to comment and let me know where in the NEW TESTAMENT that is says that God is against homosexuality. I know that there are some passages in the Old Testament, but we're not living in the Old Testament, are we? We are in the New. That was the reason why Jesus came. If he didn't, we'd still be offering sacrifices of doves, bulls, and rams. Think on that.


Until next time....


One Love